Once again

So it's been a while since i have posted on here, mainly because i have been exceedingly busy with school and everything. I feel now that we are approaching the end of the term, and Christmas, I should have a bit of a mind dump into my blog. What do I think about my program so far? It's OK, maybe not as fun as physics but a good little detour on the way to my ultimate goal. I have learned a lot about operating systems and not so much about networking, since learning networking is like trying to learn math, drunk and stoned, and in Arabic. Yeah it's way harder than physics if you can believe that. Of course for the laymen I am not sure, since everyone says they hate physics and that it is difficult, when on my end, I find it relaxing and enjoyable.

I am supposed to be writing a paper for a friend on sugar glass, but i will get to that later seeing as my sleep schedule is fucked to the point of me going to bed at 4am every night, I plan to change that during the break and when I come back I will be ready to wake up early and kick some calculus ass.. and whatever else courses i have.. likely networking since I will probably fail. The funny thing is that it is pointless for people in general to ask how things are going because a sensible person will ALWAYS reply with good. It is just a waste of everyone's time if they say bad because not only is it depressing for everyone but it also requires an explanation.

Somehow this leads to the topic of my name. I cannot believe that I actually was successful in getting everyone to call me Elijah. It isn't a bad thing or even a sneaky or malicious thing. I am quite glad of this since now it gives me more incentive to get rid of my ridiculous original name for good. Another topic change leads me to the fact that I am still a scientist at heart. I should have started taking notes on the small social experiments I have been running since I have been here. Some people don't talk to me anymore but that is a common side effect. One instance gave me a scare when they said they would send half of Toronto's goons to come hurt me, but then i realized how ridiculous this proposal would be, being that the reason for her doing this is because I don't like her "in that way" sort of a childish response on her part, but i will not hold it against her. I am a scientist, not a person who holds grudges. A scientist learns from foul experiences such as these, and gathers data as for future reference.

Now I come to the matter at hand. A recent science experiment that I should have run long ago. It concerns my own mind. As we have seen in previous studies run and published in the past, one can change a persons memory to something completely different than reality, and have that person actually believe what they "remember". Well it is due time i try this on myself. It has been too long that I have had these thoughts floating up in my mind, distracting me from the pressing tasks of my day. No longer. I have decided to try and alter my memory so as to change these thoughts into undesirable thoughts that my mind will discard rather than harp upon. How will I do this? I plan on, every time I think of this particular "thing(we will call it)" I will immediately think of something either inanimate, or foul. This may have the effect over time, of changing the object in memory completely to this other thing that I think of, making the once important object into something inanimate. It will then become unnecessary and not distracting to me.

I am quite excited about this experiment and there is only one thing that can hinder it. When I go back home and see this "thing". Therefore.. I will avoid it at all costs. Speaking of which, home will be quite interesting to return to. There are less things that I am looking forward to, than things that I am not. Things looking forward to include my kitty, certain friends, and a few family members. The rest will just bring back foul memories. What I plan on doing is spending a lot of time in the places that gave me good memories. Places like the University, where I would sit studying physics for 8 hours. The church situation is what concerns me the most. I do not go to church anymore, nor did I ever believe in it in the first place. My dad will ask me to go and I will either start a feud or just go along with it. I have learned a lot in college, and one major thing is to stand up for what I believe, and most importantly to not waste my time on things that do not matter to me. Therefore I do not know what will happen, all i know is that I will not like this month as much as my time spent in Ottawa and I will be glad to be back, and to NOT return home for summer.

Thank you for reading my mind dumb. I will give another update of myself soon enough.